


To the Fire I Fall

by loveless_klark



Series: Clexa Week 2020 [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Because I can, Clexa Week 2020, Clexa Week 2020 Day 1, Day 1 forbidden love, F/F, Forbidden Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:01:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22705129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveless_klark/pseuds/loveless_klark
Summary: Clarke has been confined her whole life. To the Ark, and then, to Arkadia.She's done being confined.Or maybe it would have been better to stay confined instead of accidentally wandering into enemy territory.-Or the clexa forbidden love AU with some cool elemental powers because I can.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Series: Clexa Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1651270
Comments: 12
Kudos: 210
Collections: Clexaweek2020





	To the Fire I Fall

**Author's Note:**

> IMPORTANT: Though this contains nothing sexual, the relationship between Clarke and Lexa contains some not-so-subtle dom/sub undertones.
> 
> If you don't like the formatting, I have a link at the very top of the story to go to the Tumblr post, where formatting is better.
> 
> This is my first time joining in on clexa week, and I have to say I’m very proud of myself for doing this.  
> I started this first one way back in January because forbidden love is my weakness and I was goddamn ready to get on with it despite the fact that I had five (six?) fics going on at the time.
> 
> Anyways, this is my short (not really) for day one of clexa week 2020, Forbidden Love.

**Tumblr Link[here](https://clexa-infinite.tumblr.com/post/611368783468167170/to-the-fire-i-fall)**

Ever since the Ark had fallen to Earth, Clarke had wanted to explore the world.

But she couldn’t because the fucking grounders wouldn’t let them.

The peace that was between Arkadia and the clans was… fragile. They had a treaty, but it was nothing more than ‘if you don’t bother us, we won’t bother you.’ There was a five-mile radius around Arkadia that the Trikru had generously gifted, but anything more was off-limits. The only people even allowed within the limits were the hunting parties and those that tended to the fields outside the fence.

Their peace had held for the past year since it was brokered, and, with a bit of support during the cold season, it hadn’t wavered. Neither side wanted it to.

Clarke didn’t want it to, either. But she at least wanted to explore their territory. Was that too much to ask?

According to her mother, it was.

So she did it herself.

“Shit, I never realized the trees were so tall.”

Well, not _just_ herself.

“Raven, we could see them from inside Arkadia. They’re only, like, fifty feet from the border.” Octavia rolled her eyes. “Are they really that amazing?”

“Yes! I mean, look! This trunk is wider than I am!”

“Okay, you aren’t _that_ fat.”

Raven pouted and Clarke laughed. She hadn’t laughed until she reached the ground. Not after her father was murdered.

“Ex- _cuse_ you. I am sexier than you’ll ever be, bitch!”

Clarke smiled widely at her friend’s antics but was more admiring the forest than listening to them. The forest was alive with birds singing, brush rustling as small animals moved within them, and it was a beauty Clarke had never experienced. The forest had such diversity, such color, it was more than she could ever have dreamed.

“You still there, Clarke?” Octavia playfully knocked the side of her head, and Clarke smiled sheepishly.

“Yeah. This is all just… beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Ha! See, I told you, Octavia!”

“Shut up, Raven, that was _not_ what you were telling me!”

Clarke’s smile was more genuine than it had ever been, in the forest with two of her best friends. But they were loud, exuberant, and, dare she say it, obnoxious.

So Clarke slipped off alone, her disappearance unnoticed by her bickering friends.

As their voices faded into the background, Clarke closed her eyes and just _breathed_. The air was fresh and tasted sweet on her tongue, the sunlight beaming through the trees warming her face and shoulders, the soft breeze caressing her face. It was the most amazing thing she had ever and likely would ever experience.

She wandered on, surrounded by the environment of the forest, for a long time. She knew she could walk on forever and it would never get any less exhilarating. 

That was her last thought before she felt herself pulled against a body and cold metal press against her throat.

She felt breath wash over her ear. “Look at this; a Skai girl on the wrong side of the border. Did you get lost, idiot child?”

Clarke cursed internally. She was going to be in so much trouble when she got out of this.

The knife moved away from her throat, hovering just in front of it. “Talk.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know I intruded. I didn’t even know where the border was!” She pleaded, not even trying to escape from the woman’s strong grip.

“You didn’t know?” The woman laughed harshly. “ _Branwada_. You should have.”

Clarke was about to retort before something hit her hard in the side of the head and her vision went black.

-

When Clarke wakes, she’s behind bars lying in the dirt.

She’s alone. There are no guards, no sounds, no nothing. Clarke wonders where the other prisoners are if they have any. She’d been told the grounders don’t take prisoners, that all offenses are punishable by death. They say it so harshly, like it’s the most terrible thing, even though they had done the same thing on the Ark. She’d always hated how they talked of the clans like they were a virus to be exterminated. She hopes she won’t agree after this experience.

If she survives the experience.

She hears footsteps coming down the corridor and a grounder steps in front of her cell. He looks at her passively, speaking over his shoulder. “ _Honon ste stomba raun, Oneda_ (The prisoner is awake, General).”

“ _Os. Bants osir_. (Good. Leave us.)” A woman stepped past the guard, looking at Clarke with contempt. Clarke recognized the voice as the same woman that had captured her.

“What’s going to happen to me?” Clarke asked, wincing at the sound of her raspy voice. “Are you going to kill me?”

The woman tilted her head. “Why would I do that?”

“Isn’t that what you do to your prisoners?”

She snorted. “Your leaders know nothing of us, yet they tell their people that we are savages. I shouldn’t have expected any more from such arrogant leaders.” The woman shook her head, leaning casually against the bars. “No. You will not be killed. We have no proof that your intrusion was anything more than an innocent mistake made from Skaikru ignorance.”

“So are you going to let me go?”

She was silent for a moment. “No. You still are an intruder. You broke the treaty.”

Clarke gasped. “Please don’t hurt them because of this. I didn’t know, I swear!”

The woman considered her. “You protect your people. I do not see many Skaikru willing to do that. Are you one of the leaders?”

Clarke was taken aback. “Of course not! I’m not even eighteen yet!”

“Does that mean you cannot be a leader?”

“You can’t be on the council unless you’re over twenty-five.” Clarke sighed. “To them, I’m still a child.”

The woman looked amused. “Your ways are… intriguing, to say the least. Though you are still very much irritating, you are more competent than most of your leaders.”

Clarke decided to take that as a compliment. 

“As for what will be done with you, I shall have to consider. You have broken the treaty _accidentally_ , with no malicious intent. Not something fit for punishment, but to let you go free without repercussion would encourage more purposeful intrusions.”

The woman tilted her head thoughtfully. “You are an odd case. I will have to think this over, but I can assure you we will not kill you, and that you will, at some point, make it home.”

Clarke sighed. “Thank you…”

“I am General Anya. You will address me as General.” With those last words, Anya turned and said something to the guards in their language before striding out of the prisons. A guard brought a plate of food to her and then the entire prison cleared out.

Clarke groaned as she tasted the meat. Despite it being food they were feeding to a prisoner, it was the best meat she’d ever had. Sure, Arkadia had hunting parties who brought back meat, but it wasn’t nearly as good as this. She swiped her finger over the coating of flakes on top of the meat and figured it must be what old-world called ‘spices.’ She was thankful for such a good meal.

She settled against the wall at the back of the cell. Who knew how long she would be there for.

-

Clarke was awoken by two men grabbing either arm and hoisting her to her feet. She struggled. “Hey! Where am I going?”

“Quiet, _honon_ ,” a guard said, yanking roughly on her arm. 

Clarke hissed, getting a hold on the ground and walking between them instead of being dragged. Outside, Anya was waiting on a horse with four other guards mounted around her. Another horse, this one without a rider, stood next to Anya.

The guards tossed her onto the horse, and she scrambled to sit on it correctly. “Where are we going?”

Anya spared her barely a glance. “I am taking you to _Heda_. She will decide your fate.”

Clarke was confused. “Don’t the guards call you _heda_?”

“They call me _Oneda_ . It means ‘under _Heda_ .’ _Heda_ is the commander.” Clarke paled. She’d heard stories of the commander, how he was a ruthless murderer who wanted complete and total control, though considering what she’d seen here, it probably wasn’t accurate. She hoped.

Anya told her how to ride in the least amount of words possible before they were off. This was the first time Clarke had actually seen the village and she couldn’t help but gape. It was nothing like the council had described. Nobody looked miserable or angry, they all looked happy. Children ran around chasing each other, some carrying fake swords that they would pretend to fight with. Stalls were set up with merchants, bartering goods. There was a large pavilion off to the side that had smoke running out the side from a fire in which smoked meat lay. The chef tossed spices over the top of it and handed it out to people in exchange for what looked like trinkets.

Anya gave her an amused look from over her shoulder. “We aren’t savages, skai girl, no matter what your ‘council’ told you.”

No, they weren’t. Everything Clarke had heard about the grounders has so far been proven wrong. These people didn’t look like heartless brutes. They looked like normal people. Sure, most were bigger and far more muscled and maybe they wore different clothes and spoke a different language. They are still the same in the end. Just people trying to find their way in the world their predecessors created around them. 

They passed through two large wooden gates that closed behind them and they went into the forest.

-

Only an hour in and Clarke’s legs were aching.

She’d never in her life ridden a horse. She’d heard of them, even seen a couple, but never came close, much less sit atop one. At first, it was nauseating, the swing of the horse’s steps swaying her back and forth, but she learned to let her hips swing with the rhythm, to move with it instead of against it. As long as she sat back and relaxed, everything was fine. Except for the fact that sitting like this for an hour was not so comfortable. Clarke couldn’t imagine doing this for the entire day, much less think about how the grounders were able to perform inexplicable stunts on them. Sitting and walking was one thing. Putting your trust in a two-ton creature that could crush you under its feet? Not so easy.

They rode for the rest of the day, stopping once in between for a slight rest before they were back on the path. They passed many other travelers, most merchants trying to sell their goods. Most seemed put off by her, and Clarke wondered if the grounders viewed Skaikru in the same way as Skaikru viewed them.

Clarke was relieved to be off of her horse. The mounts were tied up to a tree and the grounders set up tents, four of them, on flat, even ground. When everyone had eaten and drank, two guards took up positions on either side of the camp and the others each took a tent. “Try anything, Skai girl, and the guards will not hesitate to knock you out,” Anya warned before she sent Clarke into one of the tents. She passed out the moment her head hit the pillow despite sleeping half the day.

The following day proceeded much the same. Nothing of note happened, and that night they set up the same way. Clarke grew more comfortable around the grounders, though she still didn’t trust any of them, and her thighs weren’t as sore as they were yesterday, much to her relief.

On the fourth day, they reached their destination. The first thing Clarke saw was a large tower sticking out of the trees, towering above them higher than anything she’d seen. As they grew closer, she could see that the tower stood in the center of a city, a city that stretched wide on all sides. The wall surrounding it was at least twice the size of Arkadia’s, perhaps more.

The people in the city were the most diverse she’d ever seen. People of all colors walked the streets, many waving politely to their small party. She saw people covered in tattoos like Trikru, people with scarred faces and pale skin, people with dark skin and braided hair, and many more. She couldn’t see into the stalls from where she was, but she couldn’t imagine what sorts of things they sold.

The tower, at the foot of it, reminded her of an old-world skyscraper. From the bottom, it was impossible to see the top, the many windows blurring together into fuzzy shapes.

Anya spoke softly yet harshly to her in the elevator, which Clarke was startled to discover worked. “The commander is not someone to take lightly. You will show _Heda_ proper respect, and if you do not there will be severe punishment. Do not speak unless spoken to, but do not bow to _Heda_. This one, in particular, is not fond of the gesture.”

Clarke fidgeted nervously as they stepped out of the elevator, staring at the large set of doors at the end of the hall. Four guards were positioned in front of it, large men with menacing spears obviously meant to intimidate. It worked.

Their eyes fixed on her as she walked behind Anya, eyes on the ground. She heard the men knock twice on the doors before pushing them open. Anya walked in confidently with Clarke straggling behind her.

She felt a new gaze on her, one much less harsh and more curious than the guards. “ _Heda,_ this skai girl invaded our territory just a few days earlier. She claims to have not known where the borders were.”

“Is this true, Skai girl?” Clarke felt a jolt of surprise at the voice. She had expected a hard, masculine tone, harsh and rough, not this smooth yet demanding feminine one. She looked up for the first time since entering the room and laid her eyes upon the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen.

The commander lounged lazily on her throne, a knife spinning between her fingers. Her hair was a dark chocolate, slightly wavy and entwined with intricate braids. Her outfit was black leather, all padded and protected, with a large pauldron on her shoulder sporting a red sash. Her face was smooth and soft, her skin tanned nicely, yet her eyes were hard and serious. 

Clarke dipped her head politely. “Yes, commander.”

“Why were you unaware of the border? You should have known not to come close.”

Clarke nodded. “Apologies, commander, but the Skaikru forbid anyone except the hunting parties and field tenders to leave the camp. That was the first day I’d been outside the walls since they were built. I hadn’t been aware I’d walked a full five miles.”

A man was standing to the right of the commander, just behind the throne. His face was adorned with a permanent scowl. He scoffed. “These Skaikru are problematic, _Heda_ , just like I told you they were. They are so inordinate they don’t even bother showing their people the rules. I say we drive them out.”

“ _Shof op_ , Titus. If I want your opinion I will ask for it.” The commander looked back to Clarke, who suddenly felt so insignificant under her gaze. “So you went against your people’s laws to leave camp?”

Clarke flushed red. “Yes,” she said sheepishly. “After being stuck in the Ark, and then Arkadia, we wanted to explore what was out there.”

The commander raised an eyebrow. “We?”

“Ah-yes,” she stuttered. “Two friends left with me. I separated from them and I expect they turned around before reaching the border if you haven’t seen them, or maybe were caught by our guards.”

“I see.” The commander turned to Anya. “And why couldn’t you figure this out yourself?”

“I was unsure of a fit punishment for the girl,” she replied. “Her crime is not her own fault but that of her people, though the only option is to punish her in some way to show that we will not tolerate trespassers.”

The commander nodded. “You are right. Join me and my advisors for dinner tonight. We will discuss the matter then. For now, give this girl arrangements in a guest room. She is not a prisoner and I will not treat her as such, at least not until an outcome has been decided.” She signaled to the guards, who gestured for Clarke to go with them, though before she could, the bald man spoke up.

“Wait.” All three hesitated, and the commander turned to him. He looked at her pleadingly. “ _Heda_ , she is a trespasser. We do not accommodate trespassers.”

“And whose fault is it that she trespassed?”

“It is her own, _Heda_! I beg of you, please consider the fact that she may be lying to gain information.”

“I don’t believe she is,” Anya said. “I saw her when she crossed the border. She was not looking for any guards, much less expecting an attack. She truly did not know she crossed the border.”

“You cannot be sure!” The man insisted. “For all we know, she is a spy! A deceiving woman feigning innocence to keep her in good favor!”

“Titus, she is not-”

“Enough!” The commander rose from her chair, throwing her arms out to the side. The braziers caught fire, the flames roaring up until they brushed the ceiling. Titus and Anya both froze. “We will settle this matter over dinner instead of arguing about it like children. Guards, take the girl to her rooms. Titus, Anya, remain.” Clarke looked at the commander fearfully, her piercing eyes boring right through her before the guards led her out of the throne room, the doors shutting behind them.

-

Clarke’s rooms were large, thrice the size of her old one on the Ark, even with her parent’s status on the council. She had an incredible view from the balcony, a comfortable fur bed instead of a hard cot, and, to her surprise, the drawers of the desk contained items in them. Most were simple, everyday things, nothing you would think twice about, but Clarke was surprised and delighted to find out they had paper and charcoal. They had practically none at Arkadia, and the resources on the Ark were scarce. She wondered how plentiful paper was to the grounders. They must have a lot if they would leave it laying in a guest room like this.

And so Clarke drew. The first thing she drew was Polis. It was grander than any city she’d seen, with the tower looming in the middle, a flame perched precariously atop it. She sketched it out and shaded it enough to form shape and distinction before she itched to move to something else. There were so many things to draw, she was impatient to get them all out. She’d finish that one later.

To her surprise, time passed quickly. By the time the guards brought in her dinner, she’d sketched out a picture of the forest, of a horse, and was in the middle of sketching the intricate throne she’d seen the commander sitting upon. The meal smelled heavenly, and she wolfed down the smoked meat and deliciously seasoned corn. If this was what she got to eat here, she’d happily stay a while.

After her meal, she finished her sketch of the throne and was trying to decide on what to draw next when the doors opened. She looked up from where she sat at the table to see the commander walking in. Her pauldron was gone, but the red ribbons twined into her hair still marked her as the commander. 

Clarke stood up, brushing her drawings to the side. “Commander,” she said, inclining her head politely.

“We have come to a decision about your fate,” she said, skipping over pleasantries. “You are allowed to leave whenever you wish to return to your people with no punishment. However,” she paused, “you will deliver the message that any skaikru caught beyond the border, accidental or not, will be punished accordingly by my people.”

Clarke tilted her head. “Punished accordingly?”

“If it was a misunderstanding or curious children, the worst they would face might be captivity for some time or maybe working as an indentured servant, if the crime was so bad. If we have reason to believe they had malicious intent, they will be killed.”

Clarke was a bit startled by her casual stance on such a thing but nodded. “Of course. I will tell our leaders when I return.”

“And when will you return?”

Clarke was surprised. “I get a choice?”

“Yes. You are my guest for the time you remain at Polis. You may leave whenever you wish.”

She blinked, staying silent for a minute. “Can I stay a few more days?”

“If that is what you wish.” The commander walked over to her, looking down at her drawings before nodding to the couch. “May I?”

Clarke shifted over, allowing the Commander to sit with a few feet of space between them. The commander dragged one of her drawings over to look at, speaking without looking up. “Can I ask why you wish to stay instead of return to your people?”

She had to take a moment to process the question. “Um, yeah. I guess I just want to be somewhere new. As I told you, I’ve never left Arkadia since we came to Earth.”

The commander looked disturbed by that. “Not even once? You never explored the trees around your home?”

“Never. Unless you were hunting or gathering materials or some other task, you were forbidden from going past the treeline.”

The commander pursed her lips thoughtfully. “You were forbidden to explore the trees despite that you had grown up in a metal box your entire life.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I cannot say I pity you at all,” she replied. “I would much despair at such a life. It’s a wonder no one else has wandered out of your camp.”

“Security’s tight. It’s hard to leave without getting noticed.”

“Then how did you?”

Clarke shrugged. “One of my friends helped design the fence around Arkadia. She knew all the loopholes.”

The commander still looked a bit confused. “I’ve been told your fence is nothing more than wires. I do not understand how hard it could be to leave.”

Clarke hesitated at this. If she told the commander the strength of their fences, it was possible she’d use that against them. Then again, from what Clarke had seen, the commander had no intention of attacking. Even so, the grounders were likely strong enough to bring down the fence anyway. “The fence is electric. If you touch the wires, you’ll get shocked with a hundred volts at about a fifteen hundred milliamps.”

The commander looked even more confused. “I do not know what any of that means.”

“Oh. Right. If you touched it, it would hurt. A lot.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Would it?”

“Yeah. I know your warriors are tough and all, but trust me, they would definitely feel it.”

“If you say so.” The commander had tugged a couple more of Clarke’s sketches over to look at. “Would you mind if I asked about your life on your ‘Ark’? I find such a life hard to understand.”

“Uh, sure.” Clarke fidgeted in place. Though this woman couldn’t be much older than herself, she radiated an aura of power that made Clarke want to bend to her every command. It was no wonder she was the leader around here.

“Your ‘ship’ was in the sky for over a hundred years. How did it stay afloat?”

“Oh, um, well, up in space, there isn’t any gravity, which basically means there’s nothing pulling you toward the ground. The problem with space is that there isn’t any oxygen, so if you leave the ship without a suit, you’d die.”

“Like the maunon,” the commander muttered. 

“The mountain men? Exactly like that.” Clarke leaned back against the cushions and sighed, memories flashing through her mind. “We had no dirt to grow our food in and no animals to get meat from, so everything was artificial. It all tasted bland. Even the water felt impure.”

“How do you get meat without animals?”

Clarke shrugged. “I have no idea how they did it, but they used the plants that they grew in this odd kind-of-dirt material to make it into something like meat. It was terrible, but it worked.” Memories of her first taste of real meat came back to her. “The half-raw rabbit we ate our first day was the best thing I’d ever had.”

The commander had a look of disgust on her face, and Clarke couldn’t blame her. The food an average grounder ate was a million times better than what the Ark had made. “What made your people come to the ground if you were surviving in ‘space’?”

“We were running out of air. When the Ark first launched from Earth, it was packed with a ton of oxygen, enough to last for centuries, but after living in it for two hundred years it began to run out, and so we had to leave. We didn’t even know if we’d survive on the ground, but likely death is better than certain death.” Clarke remembered feeling terrified as the Exodus ships launched, blasting them to the ground with no assurance of even making it down alive. She shuddered at the thought.

The commander hummed and was about to ask another question before there was a knock at the door. “ _Heda?_ ”

She looked up sharply. “ _Chit ste em yu gaf_ (what is it you need)?”

` “ _Bandrona kom yujleda gada don kom op. Em seiso hit kom yu taim na kom au_ (An ambassador from Yujleda has arrived. She asked to meet with you as soon as possible).” 

The commander nodded, standing from the couch. “I appreciate the knowledge you’ve given me and hope you will feel welcome for the next couple of days. Have a good night, skai girl.”

“Clarke.”

She turned back around, her eyebrows furrowing, and Clarke noticed just how bright of green her eyes were. “What?”

“You keep calling me sky girl,” she said. “My name’s Clarke.”

The commander nodded. “And I am _Leksa kom Trikru_ , though, as is protocol, you must call me commander, or simply _Heda_.” She went to leave but paused a moment. “Would you mind if I came back around this time tomorrow?”

That wasn’t something Clarke was expecting. “Uh, sure, if you want.”

“Good. You’re a very interesting person, _Klark kom Skaikru_. I do hope you realize that.” With that final statement, she pulled open a door and left.

Clarke was left wondering if a person could be any more confusing.

-

Despite being alone in her room the entire next day, Clarke enjoyed her day. She cleaned up her drawings from the night before and began new ones, sitting on the balcony outside and drawing Polis from an above angle. She’d snagged some books from a dusty shelf in the corner, most in the grounder language but a couple of old-world books tucked in among them. She’d picked out something that was described as a ‘sci-fi thriller’ and began to read that.

The food was even better than she’d had previously. A steak of meat, wheat biscuit, a collection of fruits, and a goblet of light wine with her dinner. She’d never had alcohol, wasn’t allowed to at Arkadia, but it was slight enough that she wasn’t bothered.

True to her word, Lexa knocked on her doors about an hour after dinner. Clarke let her in and they sat down as they had the night before.

“ _Klark_. How was your day?” Lexa began, stretching her arms over the top of the couch. Clarke ignored the fact that her hand was close enough to brush her shoulder.

“It was good. Not much to do in a single room, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. We don’t have actual paper at Arkadia, so I’m grateful for that.”

“I’m glad,” Lexa said. “If you’d like tomorrow, you may explore the city. The guards will accompany you, assist you if necessary, but they will not bother you. Do not feel as if you must remain in your room your entire stay. If you ever need anything, do not hesitate to ask.”

Clarke blinked. “I appreciate your kindness, Commander.”

“You are my guest. I will not have you restricted like a prisoner.”

Clarke didn’t know what to say to that, so she said nothing.

Lexa nodded toward her papers. “You said you had no paper at Arkadia. If you did not have any, how do you draw so well?”

“We had chalk up on the Ark, and my dad, being an engineer, had charcoal that he used to teach me. I learned from him. Down here, we don’t have anything. I haven’t been able to really draw in months.” She fingered the charcoal, rolling it until a fine black coat covered her fingertips. “It’s refreshing to be able to draw again.”

“If you’d like, I can have some of our watercolors brought here for you.”

“Watercolors? You mean colors I can draw with?” Clarke had seen such pictures in books, paintings done in all shades of the rainbow, colors she wished she could replicate. “You have those?”

“Yes. They are a form of dye mixed with water. Fairly easy to make, if you know what types of plants produce what color.” The corners of Lexa’s lips twitched up as she watched Clarke’s face morph into a mixture of awe and excitement. “I shall have them brought to you tomorrow.”

“I- would _love_ that. Thank you,” Clarke breathed, unable to keep the smile off of her face.

Lexa scanned over the room. “I see you found the books.”

“Yeah. Most are in- whatever language you speak, but a couple are in English.”

“I have not practiced my Gonasleng reading in a while,” Lexa mused, tugging the book Clarke had been reading to her and flipping it open to a random page. The sun was setting beneath the horizon and darkening the corners of the room enough that reading the words on the page was impossible. With a flick of her wrist, Lexa had all the candles in the room alight with their tiny flames.

Clarke yelped at the sudden burst of light and Lexa gave her an odd look. “Are you alright?”

“What-how-” she took a moment, breathing in deeply. “How the hell did you just do that?”

“You mean light the candles, yes?” She nodded. Lexa seemed just as confused as she was. “I summoned the flames. Do you not have _fayahakas_ (fire-makers) in Arkadia?”

“You _summoned_ them?” Clarke had to stop a minute, reining in her mind. “You can summon fire?”

“Yes.”

“Can everyone summon fire?”

“Of course not,” Lexa said, her eyebrows furrowed inquisitively. “Only the strongest control fire. The others control weaker elements.”

“Hold on, let me get this straight,” Clarke said. “Your people can control elements.”

“Yes. Yours cannot?”

“No! I’ve never even heard of such a thing!” She exhaled heavily. “What about your general? Anya? What does she control?”

“Anya is a _graunhaka_ . She controls the earth beneath our feet.” Lexa tilted her head. “You have no _keryonakas_? None at all?”

“If you mean people that can control stuff like earth and fire, no, we don’t. Everyone can control elements?”

“Yes. It is something you are born with. Children are taught to harness their powers at a young age.”

“Harness their powers,” Clarke muttered. “Do you think we would be able to if we were taught how?”

“It is possible,” Lexa said. “Do you wish to try?”

“I- _yes_ , I would. Hell yes.”

Lexa looked her up and down, taking her in, and nodded. “Okay. We begin tomorrow.”

“Wait, really? What’s going to happen?”

“I will complete my duties as _Heda_ and collect you after I have finished training with the _natblidas_ , likely mid-afternoon. I will by then have chosen a place to go.” Lexa twitched her wrist, the flames from a single candle flowing to her and twirling around her finger. “ _Keryonak_ is not something to be treated lightly. A single mistake can be lethal to the controller or those around them. You must enter this seriously. Do you swear to do so?”

Clarke wasn’t sure she could say no even if she tried, with those eyes boring down on her. “I swear.”

“Good. Be ready tomorrow.” Lexa stood, her fingers brushing lightly over Clarke’s shoulder as she retracted her arms. “I will have the colors delivered to your room tomorrow morning, as promised.”

The watercolors. Clarke had forgotten about those. The excitement over such a thing was overshadowed by the idea of the grounders being some sort of magic. She dipped her head politely. “Good night, _Heda_.”

“ _Reshop, Klark_.” 

-

Lexa knocked on her door exactly when she’d promised she would.

“I will be taking you to a remote location just outside of Polis,” Lexa said as she led Clarke to the elevator at the end of the hallway. “There are still many who are opposed to keeping Skaikru alive and would not appreciate me revealing our powers of _keryonak_. We will be taking one of the lesser-traveled roads to one of the side gates. Try not to draw attention to yourself.”

Lexa turned out to be a hypocrite. She drew enough attention for both of them. 

Clarke was in awe at how much the people revered her. Many came up to them offering Lexa their praises, gifts, or asking for a blessing. At one point, a small child of no more than five ran up to them and tugged on the side of Lexa’s coat. “ _Yu krei meizen_ , _Heda_ . _En yuj_ . _Ai gaf ge belaik yu_ (You’re very pretty, Commander. And strong. I want to be strong like you)!” Lexa chuckled, ruffling his hair and whispering promises in his ear before sending him away. Her tenderness with the child did nothing but boost Clarke’s respect for her.

Their guards stopped at the side gates, joining the other gatekeepers as Lexa continued into the forest. She took the time to admire the scenery around them, not much different from the woods they’d traveled through to get to Polis, but still breathtakingly beautiful nonetheless. She noted the small smile on Lexa’s face when she looked back at her. “The trees amaze you.”

“Yeah, they do.” Clarke did not need to explain why. Lexa already knew.

“You will have time to admire them later. We are here.” They had only walked for maybe five minutes and now emerged into a small clearing, looking as if it had been created by man rather than naturally. There were racks of wooden swords to the side and thick lines traced in the dirt, forming a small arena.

“Working with the spirit powers is a delicate task. If you waver even slightly, you may lose your grasp, something which can be deadly when working with something such as fire,” Lexa said, drawing a line of fire out of thin air. “We will start small. Anything larger than the size of your palm is generally hard for anyone inexperienced to keep control of.”

Clarke shifted, unable to keep still. “How do I know what I am?”

“That is what we will figure out. All elements are usually an indicator of personality. Water is calm and soft but can turn deadly in an instant. Earth is a realist, someone who is firm in their beliefs and stubborn to the core. Storm is anger, people who are often unable to contain themselves. Fire is power, strength, a sign of great leadership. There has never been a commander who did not harness flames.” Lexa masterfully weaved tendrils of fire in and out, creating an intricate dance in the air. The sparks that came from then had Clarke taking a step back.

Lexa pulled the flames back into her. “We will try each element until we find which one you are. Water, fire, and storm can all be summoned using the same basic method, so we shall begin there. Are you ready?” Clarke took a deep breath and nodded. As exciting as this was, it scared her. She didn’t let that put her down.

Lexa began her instructions. “Draw the energy from the air. Feel the power around you, the spirit that chose you, and summon its power to you. Imagine it clustering above your palm, hovering there, still and unmoving.” Lexa demonstrated, a small ball of fire forming above her open hand.

Clarke did so and realized that she _could_ feel something. The air around her seemed to hum, calling softly to her. “I can feel it.”

“Good. Draw it to you.”

Clarke tried to reach out, grasping for something she couldn’t reach. She tried tugging it closer, but it didn’t budge. “It isn’t coming. I can’t reach it.”

“Don’t reach for it. Ask for it. Call it to you. Be gentle with it. Show it the respect it deserves.”

She opened herself to the power, asking for it to come to her, treating it like she was coaxing a shy child. It edged closer to her, relenting to her requests and surrounding her in comfortable warmth. She urged it to gather in front of her, to form something solid.

It all moved forward and drew itself together into a ball of power that the moment it formed exploded into a blast of searing light. She yelped, blinking quickly to regain her sight after the sudden blinding light. Lexa was a bit disoriented, staring in disbelief at her. 

Clarke let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Did I… did I do it?”

Lexa was silent for a moment, composing herself before answering. “You did… _something_.”

“What do you mean? Did I do it wrong?”

“No, no, you did everything right. It was perfect. It’s just-” Lexa took a deep breath, closing her eyes and rubbing at her temples as if she had a headache. “What you summoned was not as I expected. Not water, storm, fire, or earth.”

Clarke couldn’t seem to grasp what that meant. “Them what did I summon?”

“I believe,” Lexa said slowly, “that you have just unearthed an entirely new element.”

-

Clarke was hyperventilating. Lexa barely seemed able to contain her emotions.

“What the hell do I do?” Clarke asked, her voice quiet. “This changes things, doesn’t it?”

“Yes,” Lexa admitted. “Such a discovery has not been made since _Bekka Pramheda_. This is groundbreaking.”

“Are you still going to let me go?”

“I will not have you kept prisoner here,” Lexa insisted. “You have done nothing wrong. Though, I would ask of you to stay a bit longer after this.”

“Why? What’s going to happen to me?”

“I will have to inform my people. There are many who would want to harness your power themselves, to take you and claim you as their own. But we will not tell them yet.” Clarke stood straighter at that. “We do not even know exactly what this is. With your permission, I would like to start active lessons between you and me, working with your spirit. Discovering what it is and what it holds. I will not have them informed until after you are back within the safety of your own people.”

Clarke felt a rush of sudden emotions toward the young commander, understanding just how much she had risked for her already. To house her even with the threat of others trying to kill her, to show her their secret powers, to train her in such powers, and now she was putting her life on the life to make sure she remained safe. “I cannot express how grateful I am to you for everything you’ve done for me. Thank you.”

Lexa seemed a bit miffed at the sudden announcement but smiled back. “Of course, Clarke. The lessons?”

“Oh!” As she could see it, Clarke had two options: accept the commander’s offer of teaching her more about her mysterious powers, or going home. The choice seemed obvious. “Of course. I’ll work with you.”

“Good. Could you find your way back to the gates we exited through tomorrow without my guidance?” Clarke nodded. “Then I shall meet you there two candlemarks after noon.”

“Candlemarks?”

“Yes. I believe you call them ‘hours.’ Have you noticed the candles the handmaiden brings in when she delivers your food?”

“You mean the ones with the nails in them? Yeah.”

“When a nail falls, it strikes the hour. The maid arrives at eight, so the sixth nail would be two after noon. Do you think you can be here by then?”

“I think so.”

Lexa nodded. “Very well. We must return. I have a few more duties to attend to before dinner.”

“Yeah, okay.” Clarke didn’t move to follow her, though, and Lexa turned to give her a confused look. Clarke focused around her, feeling the hum that somehow already felt familiar. This time she drew only a small bit, condensing it above her hand and forming a small glowing ball.

Lexa rushed back toward her, stopping a foot away. She hesitantly reached forward, her hand going right through the ball. “Light,” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. “You are a _sonchaka_.”

“Light,” she repeated, trying to move the ball as Lexa had with her flame only for it to dissipate back into the air. The two women stood in silence for a moment, taking it all in.

Lexa gripped Clarke’s shoulders roughly. “Tell no one. Not a soul. This cannot get out, do you understand?”

“Yes, commander.”

“Good.” Lexa let go, sighing heavily. “And please, call me Leksa.”

Clarke froze mid-step. “But protocol-”

“Is not necessary when the only one I am around is you. Please, _Klark_. I would like to consider you a friend, especially if we are to continue meeting day after day.”

She nodded. “Okay. Lexa.”

They exchanged small smiles before finally beginning their return to Polis.

-

To Clarke’s surprise, Lexa visited her again that night, same time as she always did. She carried books in her hands.

“I had my _fleimkepa_ scan our records on elementals,” she began once they were seated, placing the books on the table. “He found books on the discovery of the elements when the first people began to believe in the spirits from over a century ago. It was so long ago that many were written in English.” Lexa patted the books. “These are a few of them.”

Clarke took the top one. The cover said _The Science of the Spirits_ , written in intricate cursive. Flipping to a random page, she saw that the entire thing was in English, more like a notebook than a novel. Sketches and graphs were scattered in among the words. She smiled at Lexa. “Thank you. I’ll be sure to look through them.”

Lexa dipped her head. “Have you worked any more on your _soncha_?”

“A bit.” She pulled up an orb of light, something she’d done so many times in the past couple of hours it came easily. “I can’t do much with it, though.”

“That’s to be expected. We will work on that more tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow. Okay.” The light dissipated, leaving the room in shadows. 

They sat in silence for a minute, neither knowing what to say. “If you’d like, I can give you a tour of the city after tomorrow’s lesson.”

Clarke sat up. “I thought you had duties.” 

Lexa shrugged. “I always have duties. They can be put off. I’d be glad to take a break from them for a little while, though I will be pressed on time. Unless you’d rather have one of your guards give you the tour?”

The thought of one of the large, quiet men who stood outside her room day and night giving her a tour was not very appealing. “No, no. I’d love if you would give me a tour of the city.”

“Very well.” She stood. “If there is nothing else to say, then I’ll be leaving. I shall do my own research on your _soncha_ and inform you if there is anything you need to know.”

“Okay. Thanks.” Lexa nodded stiffly and left the room. Clarke sighed, adjusting to lean against the arm of the couch and tugging one of the books into her lap.

Her life had just become a hell of a lot more interesting.

-

Clarke and Lexa met at the gates and carried on to the arena. At first, their interactions were stiff and polite, nothing more than formal. Clarke managed to break that in a less than conventional way.

She held a ball of light in her hands, carefully increasing its size until it was twice the size of her fist. She added another pulse of energy and it exploded in her face.

Lexa snorted, barely able to contain her laughter as Clarke fell flat on her ass in surprise. She stood up, brushing the dirt off and looking at Lexa, who now had a playful smirk on her face. “Are you alright, Klark?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” she said, and Lexa exhaled sharply to keep from bursting out laughing. Clarke glared at her and Lexa’s grin only widened.

“Shall we try again?”

Clarke tossed a ball of light at Lexa’s face. It did nothing but amuse her more. Clarke buried her face in her hands and a soft glow began to waft off her body. Lexa informed her of such.

“Great, now I’m a fucking lightbulb.” Clarke stared at her arms with as much intensity as she could until the light flickered away. She grumbled about it under her breath and turned back to Lexa. “So, the tour?”

Lexa had gotten ahold of her expression, but her eyes still glinted with laughter. “Of course, Klark. Come.”

The guards followed behind at a distance as they stepped off the side streets and into the main market. It was filled to the brim, people from all tribes bustling around. Clarke stared slack-jawed at everything around her. Peering into one of the stalls, she saw someone drop a little bone necklace into the shopkeeper’s hand in return for a small carved figurine of a deer. 

She felt Lexa brush up beside her. “Come, Klark. There is one place I think you will enjoy.”

-

Lexa led her into an art shop.

The walls were lined with pictures, done in charcoal, watercolor, paints, so vibrant and smooth that they looked unreal. Clarke gaped at them, reaching up to trace her fingers along a painted river flowing across. The texture was rough and layered, the foam sticking off the page just a bit more than the rest of it. She heard Lexa talking to the shopkeeper behind her but didn’t pay any attention to what they were saying. Walking through the racks of paintings, they were all she could focus on.

She paused at one. This was of Lexa. She was covered in thick armor, her red sash flowing out behind her, flames lighting it up. Lexa held balls of flame in her hand, the background being a reddish-brown background that looked more volcanic than anything she’d ever seen. Lexa’s face was covered in black warpaint, making her look terrifyingly striking. 

She heard a laugh from behind her. “You will find multiple paintings of myself, I am sure. The commanders are viewed more like gods than humans, even myself. Some even say the commanders are the fire spirit itself.”

“Do you believe that?”

“No. I am Heda because I killed children, not because I’m a goddess.” Lexa’s lip curled. “I would much rather have ascended that way.”

“You did what you had to do.” Clarke sighed. “Why were you chosen to be commander?”

“I am a _natblida._ All natblidas are trained from a young age until the commander dies, in which they will fight to the death. The winner ascends to be commander and the hunt for a new generation of natblidas begins.”

Clarke winced. “Are all the natblidas fayahakas?”

“There are only two fayahakas in this generation, but there has never been a commander who was not one. The most promising of the natblidas is one.” Lexa’s lips twitched up into a grin. “You will have to meet them sometime. You will adore them.”

“How young are they?”

“The oldest is thirteen. The youngest is ten.”

Clarke felt a pang in her heart. “And they have to kill each other.”

“When I die, yes. I wish it did not have to be that way.” Lexa sighed. “I have suggested changing the tradition multiple times, but no one else agrees with me. It is a show of strength, they say.” She exhaled, reaching to the back of her neck. 

Clarke rested a hand on Lexa’s bicep. “I’m sorry you had to do that, but you had no choice.”

“I did.” Lexa’s eyes unfocused as she thought back. “There were eight other natblidas in my generation, and contrary to belief, I was not the top of my class. There was another girl who could beat everyone she fought, including myself. I looked up to her as an older sister. When the conclave came, each fought our way through the other children. When it came time to fight each other, she fled. Disappeared from Polis. She didn’t resurface until two years ago as the leader of the _floudonkru_.”

“Two years ago? How long have you been _Heda_ for?”

“I have been _Heda_ for eight years. I ascended when I was twelve summers.”

“Twelve years,” Clarke murmured. She squeezed Lexa’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. It is something I regret, but to be stuck on their death would be to dishonor them. I can only be the best I can be.”

Clarke smiled softly at her. “And you are. You’re possibly the only person who actually treats me like a human here. Even at Arkadia, I was treated like a child, scolded for trying to be my own person. So thank you, Lexa. I’m sure the other novitiates are proud of what you’ve done with their sacrifice.”

Lexa chuckled quietly, her eyes glistening. She had a sad smile on her face that made Clarke’s bones ache. Lexa made her feel in a way no one ever had.

It was addictive.

-

They continued to meet outside every day. When Lexa started to get behind on her duties, they resigned to meeting after dinner in Clarke’s rooms like they had the first couple days.

Clarke couldn’t get enough of her. Lexa’s nightly visits were the highlight of her day. When they were alone, Lexa could strip off parts of her mask, and Clarke was slowly getting her to remove more and more. Beneath it all, Lexa was just a young girl who wanted to enjoy her life. 

Clarke had basically mastered her powers. Drawing from her energy reserve took barely even a thought now and manipulating the light took just a twitch of her finger. Clarke was obsessed with it, and Lexa was too, though she didn’t let it stop her from lighting all the candles in the room whenever she came in.

They had draped themselves across the couch in Clarke’s solar, Lexa complaining about her work and Clarke listening intently. “The ambassadors refuse to see sense,” she groaned, making abstract shapes in the air with her fire. “ _Louwoda Kliron_ is complaining that they are outgrowing their land and is demanding that _Yujleda_ surrender a portion of theirs. They are demanding too much for too little a price and refuse to negotiate past that.”

“Did they decide that?”

“No. I ended the meeting before it could escalate.” She dropped her head onto the back of the couch, sighing heavily. “The ambassadors will be returning to their clans in three days' time to make their seasonal report, thank the spirits. I will have almost a fortnight without them.”

“Why so long?” At Lexa’s scalding look, Clarke corrected herself. “Not that I’m complaining, but why would they be gone for so long?”

“Because the _Ingranrona Kru_ are almost a week’s ride away from Polis. It is a break I have been looking forward to since the last one ended.” 

Clarke snorted, leaning close enough that their shoulders brushed and adding a strand of light to Lexa’s dance. Lexa gave her an amused look, twirling her fire around the white ribbon. Clarke condensed it into a thicker glow and escaped from its fiery cage, brushing the edge of the flames. 

Lexa paused. “Wait. Do that again.”

“Do what again?”

“Just keep still,” she commanded. Clarke balled up her light and held it in place. Lexa prodded at the light with her fire. Nothing happened. Lexa sighed.

“What are you trying to do?” Clarke asked softly.

“I just… thought I saw something. It was probably nothing.” She shook her head.

Clarke looked up at the disappearing stroke of fire. “Wait.”

Lexa looked up. “What?”

“Put the fire back.”

Lexa frowned but did as she asked. Clarke took her little globe of light and it flowed right into the core of the fire. It glowed white, the fire softening into a warm gold.

Clarke hummed. “That’s pretty cool.”

Lexa’s brows furrowed. “Cool? It is fire. Fire is not cold.”

Clarke chuckled. “No, no, not like that. It’s Skaikru slang. It means ‘amazing’ or ‘interesting.’”

“Then yes, I suppose it is ‘cool.’” Clarke grinned. Hearing Lexa say something like that wasn’t something she’d ever expected to hear.

A loud _clang_ alerted them that the twenty-first candlemark had hit. Lexa sighed. “I must go.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” Clarke said, standing up and offering Lexa a hand. She took it. Instead of releasing immediately after, Lexa tightened her hold and, after a moment of hesitation, leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on Clarke’s cheek. She left with a small smile gracing her face.

Clarke stood in place for a couple minutes after Lexa was gone. She reached up and touched the spot Lexa had kissed, staring at the door, stunned into silence. The commander of the twelve clans just kissed her. _Lexa_ just kissed her.

She couldn’t think of a better way to end her evening.

-

Lexa came an hour later than usual the next day. She refused to meet Clarke’s eyes when she let her in.

“I’ve arranged for you to meet the natblidas,” Lexa said, standing by the couch awkwardly. “You had said you’d like to meet them, so I had it arranged. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not,” Clarke said, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees. 

Lexa fidgeted, her gaze down at the floor. Clarke took note of her flushed cheeks. “Wonderful. I, um, will retrieve you tomorrow at the fourteenth candlemark. If that’s okay.”

“It’s perfect.” Clarke shifted closer, reaching out to skim her fingers over Lexa’s wrist. She flinched. “Lexa, look at me. Please. You’re acting odd.”

“I’m probably just tired.” Lexa backed away from the couch. “I should retire. Goodnight, Klark.”

“Lexa, wait.” Clarke stood, walking over to her. “Look at me. _Beja_ , Lexa. You don’t need to hide from me.”

Lexa took a shuddering breath, angling her face away. Clarke rested a hand on the small of her back, feeling her stiffen under her touch. “Lexa.”

Lexa spun around suddenly, making Clarke stumble back. “What?” She demanded, her eyes red, lips trembling. “What do you want?”

“I want to help you.” Clarke stepped closer, carefully taking one of Lexa’s hands in hers. She shook and Clarke wrapped both hands around it. She sought out her eyes, forest green, which were looking everywhere but Clarke. “Tell me what’s wrong, love.”

Lexa’s eyes flickered up to her face, widening in surprise. Clarke understood then. Understood what Lexa wanted but was too afraid to ask for. What she was afraid of facing. Something Clarke was afraid of, too. But she would take the plunge. For both of them.

Clarke reached up and rested a hand lightly on Lexa’s cheek. She brushed her thumb over the corner of her lips, watching Lexa’s eyes dart between her face and the floor. Clarke slipped the hand beneath her chin, tilting her head up, angling her head slightly. Leaning in, she brushed their lips lightly. It was light, barely felt, but she tilted forward again, the feather of a touch merging into a kiss.

Lexa didn’t move for a moment, her body stock still, until with a single breath she practically melted. Their bodies melded together, sliding into place like two pieces of a puzzle. Clarke released Lexa’s hand, wrapping her arm around her waist and tugging her closer, the other hand massaging her jaw. Lexa’s hands wandered up, hesitantly brushing over Clarke’s shoulders, but Clarke squeezed Lexa closer and she relented, wrapping her arms around her neck.

They broke apart, panting, Lexa with tears dripping down her face. Clarke brushed them away, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “Are you alright, love?”

Lexa closed her eyes at the pet name, leaning into Clarke’s hand. She hummed. “Mhm.” 

Clarke felt her heart racing, threatening to beat out of her chest. She’d just kissed Lexa. God, she couldn’t process it. She hadn’t even been here a fortnight and she’d just kissed the commander. The fucking commander. Though at the moment, it wasn’t the commander she held in her arms, soft, warm, heavy.

Clarke led her back over to the couch, sitting down and pulling Lexa down on top of her. Lexa pressed a messy kiss to her cheek, arms tightening around her neck. Clarke brushed her lips over Lexa’s jawline, mouthing at the sharp jut that made her look so damn tough. Lexa groaned, dropping her head onto Clarke’s shoulder.

Clarke tore herself away from her neck, sitting back against the couch, keeping her arms loosely wrapped around Lexa’s waist. Lexa sat back as well, fingers twirling the baby hairs on the back of her neck. On her face was a wide grin. Sparks flew off of her, a section of her hair catching aflame. Clarke chuckled, patting it out. “You’re sparking, love.”

Lexa bit her lip. “And you’re glowing, _hodnes_ .” Clarke scowled and Lexa dug her teeth into her lip to keep herself from giggling. She was the commander. She did not _giggle_.

Clarke leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to her nose. “You like me?”

“Is it not obvious?”

“You’re right,” she agreed. “Then it’s obvious that I like you?”

“Mm, I should hope so.” Lexa brought a hand around to stroke down her face. “You’re stunning, _ai soncha_. It was hard to keep my hands off you.”

Clarke exhaled with a small puff. “If I’d known you wouldn’t kill me for it I would have had my hands on you a long time ago.” She laughed quietly. “And to think that only two weeks ago I thought the commander was some giant, rough scar-faced man who would kill me on sight.” The absurdity of it all only made her laugh harder. “And now I have the commander sitting in my lap, a beautiful, terrifying woman who I can’t _fucking_ resist.”

Lexa sighed, nuzzling her nose into Clarke’s cheek. “Flatterer.”

“It’s true. You’re lovely.” Lexa purred, kissing her neck. Clarke groaned as she started nipping at her skin. “Lexa, we should talk about this-”

“Later.” She lapped at the red skin she left after a particularly harsh bite. “Let us enjoy this. Just this moment.”

And how could she resist?

-

Lexa left a half hour later. Clarke’s mind was blurry and dizzy and she swore she couldn’t see straight.

They hadn’t had sex or anything; Clarke wasn’t at all prepared for that. It was all touches and kisses and caresses and the affection that they both had been denied for too long.

They hadn’t talked. About what this meant. About what it would do to them. About how it would work with them being who they were - an intruder skai girl and the grounder commander. An odd couple, to be sure.

Lexa came by at the fourteenth candlemark the following day, just as she had promised. The smiles they shared were different. More open and affectionate. Happier.

“The natblidas come up here to train every day,” Lexa told Clarke as they stood hundreds of feet above the city, the view even more impressive with the addition of the commander tower. “Usually Titus trains them, as I normally have duties to attend to, but the ambassadors departed today, so I offered to take over.” A smile graced her face. “The natblidas hold a place close to me.”

Clarke reached over and took her hand. “I’m excited to meet them.”

Lexa squeezed her hand. “You’ll love them. They’ll love you, too. Children are much more open-minded than adults. They won’t let your clan get in the way of who you are.”

Clarke huffed. “That’d be a first.” She raised an eyebrow at Lexa’s look. “You can’t deny that it doesn’t matter to you. It does. It matters to us.”

“I wish it didn’t,” she sighed. “For me to take you would make me look weak because you are an outsider. And I doubt your people would appreciate it either.”

“Fuck what my people have to say. They aren’t here right now.” She leaned closer. “And yours aren’t here right now, either.”

Lexa gave her an amused glance. “As much as I want to, the natblidas are here. We will have time later.”

“You’d better keep that promise.” The greenery behind them rustled and the two separated. The first to walk into the clearing was a boy, only a couple of inches shorter than Clarke, with tousled blonde-red hair and pale skin. He had slim muscle packed into his arms and legs, a show of strength despite his skinniness. He grinned. “ _Heda_! You have not visited in a while!”

“I know. I apologize. I’ve been busy,” Lexa said, stepping forward to hug him. Six other kids crowded around her, the youngest clinging to her arm. Clarke almost cooed. 

“ _Heda_ , who’s she?” All eyes turned to Clarke. She shifted her weight, smiling nervously. 

Lexa ruffled the young girl’s hair. “This is Klark. You may have heard of her. She is Skaikru.”

Aden was the first to step forward. “Pleasure to meet you, Klark _kom Skaikru_ . I am Aden _kom Podakru_.”

Clarke relaxed. “The pleasure’s all mine, Aden.”

He smiled at her. The other six natblidas introduced themselves, no two being from the same clan. Clarke was particularly drawn to a young brunette girl of eleven from the Sankru named Kalya. The young girl seemed genuinely happy to meet her, offering her arm in greeting, a sign of respect among their culture. 

Lexa herded them away to train them and Clarke watched from the sides. First, Lexa fought each of them individually. Aden was the only one who got a hit on her; likely why Lexa claimed he was the most likely successor. It was incredible to see how they fought with their powers. Water, electricity, earth, fire, each of them had a beauty to them. Electricity was like a bullet; if you didn't know it was coming you couldn’t dodge it. Water was smooth and flowing; not solid but a good way to disorient. Earth made the entire arena a tricky place to maneuver. The ground would jut out or retract in, not something that happened quick but deadly if you didn’t avoid it. Fire was a whole different story.

Lexa and Aden fought with fire. It was a deadly dance, both fighting for control. Aden would lash out and Lexa would snap it away, sending her own projectile. Fire couldn’t hurt either of them but it could burn through armor, melt weapons if hot enough and could act as a blindfold. By the time Aden was down, the entire clearing was filled with smoke.

After that, they paired up to fight, Lexa working with one herself. She was harsh in her teachings but always kept her students safety in mind. 

When it was all over, most of them collapsed to the ground to rest. Lexa walked back to her, slick with sweat that made Clarke’s core pulse. She leaned over, muttering in her ear. “You’re hot when you’re all sweaty.”

Lexa furrowed her brows. “Hot? Of course. Exercise always warms the body.”

Clarke snuffed a laugh. “That’s not what I meant.” She leaned back in. “In our culture, ‘hot’ means attractive.”

Lexa flushed. “Oh.”

Clarke snorted, shifting slightly away to a more respectable distance. One of the natblidas came over to them. “ _Heda_ , why did you bring the skaigada?” The other nightbloods crowded closer to hear her answer. 

Lexa rested a hand on Clarke’s shoulder. “I wanted you to meet her. Klark has become a friend of mine. I thought you would like her.”

The youngest, a boy of Asian descent from the plain riders, tugged on her sleeve. “Can you tell us about Skaikru?”

Clarke smiled. “Of course. What do you wish to know?”

Clarke spent a good part of the next half-hour talking to them about Arkadia and the Ark. They seemed horrified at her life. “You don’t have _keryonakas_?”

She shook her head. “No. I didn’t even know such a thing existed until I came here.”

“So you don’t have a spirit?”

Clarke sent Lexa a questioning glance. Lexa’s eyes flickered to the nightbloods and she nodded.

“I do,” Clarke said. “Lexa taught me how to find it.”

“What are you?” The young boy was bouncing on his heels. “I bet you’re a _wodahaka_.”

“I think she’s a _graunhaka_!”

They turned eagerly back to her. “Which one are you?”

She chuckled. “Neither. Nor am I a _fayahaka_ or a _strakahaka_ .” She pulled out of the air a globe of white light, like a mini star held in her palm. “I am what you might call a _sonchaka_.”

“A light-maker.” Aden stepped forward, eyes wide. He reached forward. “Can I?” Clarke pushed the globe to him.

His fingers slipped right through it without any resistance. His face filled with wonder as the light trailed after his fingertips when he retreated. The other children pushed closer to get a better view.

Clarke pulled out a ribbon of light, twirling it around Kalya and making her look like some sort of ethereal goddess. She laughed, reaching up to touch the swirling glow. It recoiled from her touch, forming into a little fox and nuzzling her palm before dissipating. 

She released more ribbons, the light spiraling around the clearing, dipping up and down and in and out. Lexa held up a hand, tendrils of flame joining in with the light show. Her fire sparked into a golden hue. The natblidas gaped at the impressive display of power.

Clarke pulled back, feeling the use of so much power take its toll on her. Lexa drew hers back as well, stepping up beside her. “Listen to me. You cannot tell anyone about this. I trust all of you to understand the importance of keeping this hidden.” The natblidas nodded along with Lexa’s words. “Good. Now, I believe you are late to Titus’s lessons. Tell him if he has a problem to take it up with me.”

The children rushed off, hastily saying their goodbyes to Clarke. Silence fell quickly.

Lexa reached out to grab her hand, not saying anything. Clarke turned to her. “You really want to deal with Titus?”

Lexa laughed at that, a sound that made Clarke smile widely. “Nobody _wants_ to deal with Titus, but if anyone is to do it I might as well be it.”

“You shouldn’t have to be.” Clarke tugged her closer, planting a messy kiss on her cheek. “You’re young. You should live your life, not be weighed down by the needs of the people.”

“And yet that is the life that was chosen for me the moment I was born.” She wiped a drop of black blood off of her face, where a small cut sat on her cheek just beneath her eye. “I was cursed with nightblood. It was my destiny to ascend or die.”

“Has a commander ever retired?”

“Retired? No. They die before they can.” She sighed. “I imagine it would be impossible to retire anyway. If I did somehow manage to grow old, I would be assassinated for being weak. If I tried to retire, I would be assassinated for being weak.”

Clarke hooked their arms together. “Maybe once you get your peace you can work toward fixing that. Fixing your stupid weakness rule.”

“It is not stupid, Klark,” Lexa complained. “It keeps us strong. The weak die, the strong live on.”

“What do you consider weak? Sickness? Injury? Wanting to relax for a _single fucking minute_?”

“You’re right,” she admitted. “It is flawed in that sense. But we’ll deal with that when we get there.”

Clarke smiled. “I like the sound of that. _We_.”

Lexa turned to her. “Does that mean you wish to stay here?”

It was something she’d had on her mind for a while now. When she’d have to return. “I wish I could. I hope I can. But I can’t just leave my family and friends behind.”

Lexa’s happy expression dropped a bit. “I understand.”

“Hey, love, that doesn’t mean I don’t _want_ to be with you. I want to. But I have an obligation to my people, just as you do to yours.”

Lexa smiled shyly. “Perhaps we can incorporate Skaikru into our peace. From what you have told me of their capabilities, they would be valuable trade partners, and your _fayagons_ would be a useful long-range weapon of war if one were to come about.”

Clarke grinned and leaned over to press a kiss onto her lips. “I would love that. I’m sure my people would, too.”

Lexa’s smile widened and she surged forward, catching her lips once more. 

It would be some time before they returned to the city.

-

Lexa visited her that night as usual. Her dress was different.

She wasn’t in her usual commander coat and armor, instead dressed in a thin nightgown with a long slit in the leg. Clarke let her in, eyes wandering, but Lexa didn’t care. Almost as if she’d done it on purpose. She probably had.

The first thing Clarke did was pull her down onto her lap, pulling her in for a proper kiss. Lexa grunted, mouth parting slightly, and kissed back, shifting to straddle her hips. Clarke rested a hand on Lexa’s leg, feeling the bare skin that radiated warmth on the cool evening. The other hand slipped into Lexa’s hair, scratching at her scalp. Lexa purred, smiling into the kiss.

Lexa pulled away first, hands resting on either side of Clarke’s neck. “Klark, how can we do this?”

“Hmm?” Clarke hummed, her mind still slightly disoriented from the sudden rush of attraction.

“Our relationship. How can we manage it?” Lexa rested her cheek against Clarke’s temple. “Our people will both despise it, and they already hate each other. Along with the fact that you cannot stay here forever and it will be hard for you to come back.”

Clarke sighed. “I know. This can’t end well, not as it is now. I’ll have to leave soon, and you’ll be alone here again, and I’ll be locked up in Arkadia again. So let’s just enjoy this while it lasts.”

“Enjoy it while it lasts,” Lexa said sadly. “It will have to be enough, won’t it?”

Clarke didn’t respond. She didn’t need to.

Lexa pulled away, their lips meeting ever so gently. With such thoughts at the front of their minds, they remained gentle and light, but it became a mere afterthought within the throngs of their affection.

Lexa wasn’t a very touchy-feely person, but Clarke was completely hands-on. She traced muscles through the gown, slipped a hand to her arm to feel the raised flesh of the tattoo, of which Clarke had never seen. She’d have to ask Lexa about her tattoos later. 

Clarke prodded at Lexa’s lower lip with her tongue, skimming over it with her teeth. Lexa obediently parted her lips, allowing Clarke to feel her out. She bit down lightly on her tongue and Clarke dug her nails into Lexa’s arm. She let out a low moan, sinking down into her.

Clarke pulled back, eyes dark with lust. Evaluating Lexa’s behavior, she hoped she was reading this right. Leaning forward, she pressed her lips against her ear. “I want you to sit still like a good girl and take what I give.”

Lexa shivered, a gasp escaping her mouth. She nodded quickly, arms tightening around Clarke’s neck. Clarke kissed her on the lips and snagged her fingers in Lexa’s hair, tilting her head to the side. She began planting kisses up and down her jawline, sucking on her pulse point enough to leave the faintest of marks. It wouldn’t do to ruin the commander’s reputation.

Clarke kissed up and down her neck, nipping and sucking on the soft, delicate skin of her throat. Her free hand went to Lexa’s back, splaying across the bare skin to hold her tight. This was the first time she’d ever been in a relationship even remotely sexual, and she was surprised at how naturally her dominance came through.

Who would’ve thought the commander would be a damn sub.

-

Someone knocked on the door to Clarke’s room an hour after breakfast.

A handmaiden was standing at the door. “ _Klark kom Skaikru_ ,” she began, dipping her head. “I come with a message from the commander.”

“What is it?”

“You must collect your things,” she said. “Heda has gifted you this _sak_ to carry anything you wish to take with you. She says you will be departing in a candlemark.”

Clarke furrowed her eyebrows. “Did she say where I am going?”

“She gave no hint of the destination or purpose.”

Clarke nodded stiffly. “Thank you.” The handmaiden bowed slightly and turned to leave. Clarke closed the door, leaning her forehead against the thick, rich wood. 

She was leaving Polis. Likely being delivered back to her people. Why? She doubted Lexa would make this decision without consulting her first unless there was something else playing into it. Had something happened?

She had no way to get her answers. She grabbed a change of clothes, her drawings, and, as a last minute thought, grabbed Lexa’s other gifts. The watercolors and the _keryon_ books. She hoped she was allowed to take those.

The better part of the hour was spent pacing her room in silence. Her steps weighed heavy on the floor, her face scrunched up in thought as she went over the various scenarios of what could be happening. Did it have to with Skaikru? With Polis? The Kongeda? The questions rang in her mind with no way of answering them.

Another handmaiden came to fetch her, leading her outside of the tower and to a building at the edge of the city. It was a stable, filled with the smells and sounds of horses.

There were a dozen horses outside, all tacked up and ready to depart. All of the riders were warriors except one.

Clarke strode over. “Lexa,” she said quietly. The girl looked up from where she had been securing the horse’s girth. “What is going on?”

“I’ll tell you on the way. We have to arrive as soon as possible.” Lexa handed her the reins to a sturdy chestnut mare and turned to address the entire party. “Mount up.”

Clarke had to hold the stirrup in place with her hands to be able to get her foot in and swing herself over. Luckily, the mare was small, just short enough that she could do it herself, which saved her a bit of dignity. Lexa sat tall on her dark stallion, nodding for Clarke to flank her. 

They rode out of Polis, pushing the pace to a slow lope. Lexa fell back to ride beside Clarke. “A messenger just arrived from _Onya_ this morning. The Skaikru have been searching for you, and have begun to extend their search outside of their territory. Patrols on the border have turned them back, but they grow persistent. We fear they will turn to violence if you are not returned to them.”

It wasn’t until then that Clarke understood what she had been doing to them, staying in Polis. She’d known it wouldn’t do to live away from her family and friends, but she hadn’t considered the immediate consequences. They’d assume the worst. Most of them already hated the tribes, and if they thought the Trikru had kidnapped her… 

Okay, technically, they had kidnapped her. But no one needed to know that.

The message had been vague, so Lexa couldn’t tell her much more than that. They rode side by side, occasionally picking up small talk but keeping a comfortable silence for the majority of the ride. They stopped every hour or so to rest the horses, slowing to a trot as the sun began to dip closer to the horizon. 

They camped for the night by the riverside, the ground flattened by two _graunhaka_ warriors in a way that she recognized had been done by Anya on their journey to Polis. She hadn’t realized how much the grounders depended on their powers to get things done more efficiently. Lexa sparked up an easy flame, adjusting it as needed to cook the deer meat to perfection. The water was purified by one of the _wodahakas_ and the horses were given fresh patches of some of the best foods just grown from the ground.

Clarke discreetly lit up the tips of her fingers, letting the glow dance over her hand. She wondered about what it would mean for her back home.

She and Lexa didn’t have a single moment alone the entire four days it took to travel to TonDC. By the time they arrived, Clarke was aching for her in a way that seemed impossible.

They arrived back at dusk, setting up tents just beside the village walls. Most people gave them warm greetings, but Anya was less than pleased to see Clarke. “It is her fault we are in this situation in the first place,” she argued. 

Clarke snorted. Anya scowled at her. “Have something to say, _skaigada_?”

“I wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t forced me into custody.”

They could have gone back and forth for hours. Lexa knew that. She stopped it before it could even begin.

When they returned to their tents, Lexa tapped her wrist lightly and hooked their pinkies together, drawing her towards the commander’s tent.

Lexa sat down on the fur-covered cot and looked at Clarke. Clarke looked back. They both knew what this was.

This was goodbye.

Clarke walked toward her and removed her pauldron, setting it on a table behind her. Lexa stayed silent, hands ghosting over Clarke’s arms as she undid the many buckles of the commander’s coat, laying the heavy fabric on the table as well. She turned back, watching Lexa. Her eyes glistened and Clarke could feel tears pricking at the edges of hers as well. She leaned down, pressing her lips to Lexa’s forehead, hands coming up to cradle her face. 

Lexa seemed to choke on her words. “ _Klark_ , I-”

“Shhhh,” Clarke mumbled, lips still against Lexa’s face. “No words. Not tonight. Nothing that will remind us of what is to come.”

Lexa wrapped her hands around Clarke’s wrists and squeezed lightly. Clarke sat down beside her and pulled her into a soft kiss, hands gentle and caring. Nothing of the hot passion they’d shared previous nights, and yet it was all the more powerful.

They fell asleep together in Lexa’s bed, shoes still on their feet, hair still braided tightly to the back of their heads, armor still strapped to their chests. When they woke once more come morning, neither moved, only soaking in the closeness of the other. Silently dreading what was to come.

Someone knocked on one of the poles of Lexa’s tent.

Clarke clutched Lexa tighter.

-

Their goodbyes outside are nothing short of formal protocol.

Lexa keeps her face schooled, chin raised high, though Clarke can see how her lower lip trembles, how her hands shake, how her eyes shine. She imagined she was much the same. Neither said more than was expected and Clarke was thankful. If Lexa had tried to say anything more, she wouldn’t have been able to keep her facade.

She was escorted to the border of Arkadia. Anya was thankful to be rid of her.

She walked alone back to the fallen Ark, feeling her heart close in on itself as the walls came into view. She pushed Lexa to the back of her mind. She knew she’d break down later when she was alone. 

Someone called her name and people began to gather at the fences, looking out at her with surprise, relief, awe.

Her mother rushed up to the gates, standing just over the threshold. Raven and Octavia were there as well. 

She was happy to see them. She would be, at least.

The flicker of the torchlight against their face only served to remind her of the red flames that spiraled from Lexa’s hands.

**Author's Note:**

> I will be making a second chapter to this after clexa week. Despite my love of tragedies, this is clexa. I can't leave them without a happy ending.


End file.
